Ten Years Later

I was at the driving range.

Not for fun...but for credit, or as my husband would probably argue (and there would be some truth to it), I showed up so I could get a grade - preferably an "A." I love "A's."

I was a senior at Trinity and was enjoying a little more relaxed final year of college - taking fewer hours, including a tough 8:30 AM Tuesday/Thursday class - golf. (Hey- I should get some credit for having an 8:30 class my senior year!) My suitemate and dear friend, Sarah, and I drove 2 minutes to the driving range that Tuesday morning and got our buckets of balls. As I walked through the door of the club house and out to the range, I remember glancing up at the TV that hung in the corner and noticing that one of the morning shows was on. When we finished up hitting all of our balls and coming back in about 45 minutes later, the TV was still on, but this time, there were horrifying images of smoke coming out the twin towers in NYC.

I had driven us there that morning, and as Sarah and I got back into the car to drive back to campus, I remember trying to find a news broadcast on the radio so we wouldn't miss any new information. I remember being terrified. I remember wondering how many more planes had been hijacked. I remember wanting to be with my family in Dallas more than anything. As most people will say when they talk about 9-11, I had never experienced anything like that before. My sense of security was shattered in an instant. One of the weirdest things I remember was talking with my friends about how this date, September 11, 2001, would be a date that would show up in history books. It would be like Pearl Harbor...a date that would live an infamy. To be totally aware of that reality, as it is unfolding around you, is bizarre.

I remember going to a service on campus led by Rev. Stephen Nickle. The small campus chapel was packed with students and staff members. We sang hymns and read God's word, and I remember being overwhelmed when reading Psalm 46 because I felt like it was written in response to what had just transpired.

Psalm 46

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Be still.

Do not be afraid.

I am with you.

After the service, I remember standing outside of the chapel and somehow ending up in a circle of students and a few staff members (most notably for me, my Business teacher - Dr. Van Endy). I remember holding hands, praying, and singing, "Shout to the Lord." Anytime I hear that song, it takes me back to that moment.

In such a dark time, with all the memories that I have that are saturated with fear, I also have memories of a few days after the attacks where things were different. Where people loved on one another and cared for one another - no matter race, religion, socioeconomic status, ethnicity - just because it was the right thing to do. As Americans, we all had a shared experience that connected us, and for a moment, I remember feeling like everyone was on an equal playing field. After doing a book study this summer on following Jesus, I realize that what we experienced, even if it was just for a few fleeting days, was what I would like to believe God's kingdom looks like. A place where people love other people and care for other people and help other people and put other people before themselves...I really do believe that that's what God intended for us.

As I look back ten years, I can see how in our nation's deepest moments of despair, God allowed us to have a glimpse of what he desires for us..."Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. On Earth as it is in heaven." When people ask, "Where was God on Sept. 11?" I know the answer. He was on those planes, holding those terrified passengers in His arms. He was in the towers, comforting those with no way out. He was with the first responders, giving them the strength to run into the towers when everybody else was running away from them. And He was with all of us, doing what He always does, no matter how grim the circumstances - he was taking a hopeless situation and using it for good.

There have been moments when J and I have made comments to each other about bringing a child into a world like the one in which we live, and while we are surrounded by evil and hate, I am thankful that we are more importantly surrounded by love, and mercy, and grace, and are loved unconditionally by a God who created us to desire relationships with others and with Him.

Ten years later, I am still moved to tears when I hear the personal stories of those who lost loved ones and when I see the images of the towers imploding and the streets and all those in them covered in ash. And I am thankful for all those who gave their lives on that day in order to help their brothers and sisters - even though they didn't know them - because it was the right thing to do, and I am thankful, that for even a brief moment, I saw a glimpse of God's kingdom here on earth. I will never forget that.